.::.SuMmErsNoW.::.

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(= Welcome to my blog =)

Current Song's Lyrics:
萧亚轩 - 冲动

很感激这城市拥挤的交通
让你我还能多相处几分钟
人潮中怕失散所以轻轻拉你的手
一刻不放松不放松

**Chorus**
不确定你属于我会有点寂寞
你给的幸福在我心中自由走动
抚平我每一个伤口

忍不住想要吻你的冲动
不确定我的执着能让你感动
我只能相信自己感受不怕失落
关于你的一切我想要比谁都懂
**

我的心是被你设定的闹钟
提醒我想你的时间不够用
为什么平淡的事情现在忽然生动
是你改变我你改变我

**~**

你是情人还是朋友
还没勇气想得太多
你的世界如此辽阔
我会在那个角落
**~**

Le Miserable.... Damn meeky... 祝我自己生日快乐..
Thursday, September 15, 2005

ok so 4 more days to my bday. was initially quite excited and looking forward to it. but then now not so sure already...

1stly perhaps i feel that my 人缘 and organising and co-ordination skills become very bad. like wat kind of chalet is this man.... plans shifted n ppl nt replying to sms-es.. i think perhaps under the constraint of cant openly celebrate my bday. but its mx bday we celebrating also ma. i wanted her to have a good celebration so like got a conflict liddat in me...

2ndly, i sort of think of my dad esp on tues and wed(ytd)night... like if he's here around things would be so much much much better.. sort of miss him.. feels sad.. uncontrollable tears... "think about the happy times we had together"-> but it gives me more grief instead.. thinking of him is totally enuff to stop any events from going on. but i cant...

3rdly, the stupid monk says cannot celebrate bday n receive presents and my stingy aunt who had NEVER ever gave me anything before in all my bdays find it a opportunity to save their $$ on a present for me this yr. say wat cannot cut or blow cake, cannot sing the song to me, cannot wish me happybday also, blah blah blah.... F*** it lor.... 2 consecutive yrs of NO CELEBRATIONs and those who know me will know that i quite 重视 bday celebrations cuz its only that day once a yr tt is special to the person so shud be properly celebrated. but its juz so not fair that i haf to skip my 21st bday celebration! everyone only has their 21st bday ONCE their lifetime!!! and everyone CAN celebrate them y not me?!!!? its only this once tt its the most meaningful day to anyone. but for me who so treasure bday CANT have it. its so unfair to me. i wanted to celebrate but then cant bring myself to enjoy in it liddat.. really envy u ppl who can 高高兴兴，无忧无郁的 celebrate ur 21st one, while i am feeling so miserable now...

I know u all haf been asking me wat i wanted for my bday but i say dunno cuz the things i wanted u all cant gimme like happiness... actually the thing i've most wanted is my dad to be alive and i can spend more time wif him, celebrating my bday with the whole of my family. i know u all didnt think that i wanted that... wanna remind u ppl again to cherish all the little time u can haf wif ur family members. life is juz too short.. dun live in regrets if they were to join the heavens one day for u didnt say enuff "i love you" to them, or hadnt hug them yet, or hadnt give enuff hugs and kisses, or even missed the chance to hold their hands and feel them when they are around...

Sun only me and nick staying back. Fri is also me n him only. Sat is when everyone comes so somehow i feel the sudden coldness on sun plans. Chalets shud haf lots of ppl then fun de mah. seemed so wat... AND can haf an idiotic fren to actually FORGET and CANT make it to a simple chalet gathering dispite i remind him so many times.... somehow i think the chalet is at the wrong timing where everyone seemed busy wif their own schedule.. insignificant... insignificant... so far among me, mx, nick and fukai, only kelvin is interested to participate and enthu in it. somehow i feel that he's more enthu and happy then i am.. he has EVEN taken leave on mon, attempting to commit himself fully to the chalet. its really touching and i really think he's the one who has done all he can for us, heart and soul, as a fren..

Guess i need to calm myself down before facing u ppl on chalet.. dunno wat will happen. i dun wanna ruin it due to me being in the "no mood" to celebrate... one thing glad is my mum bought a "stapled"diamond key-shaped pendent from taka jewellery for me. quite nice perhaps i treat it as a consolation to my meeky saddy spirit and the upcoming convert celebration(meaning concealed celebration) chalet.... bleh... wat the HELL.....

Tata for now >þ
1:28 AM
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